Proverbs 15:18 – being slow to anger quiets disagreement
People with a hot-temper cause strife. It is up to us to not stoke the embers of the fire, but rather bring the water to put out the fire with a soft answer.
The verse we are considering in this article comes from the book of Proverbs at chapter 15 and verse 18.
A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.
There are a few words in this verse that we need to consider before we can understand the lesson being taught by this verse in the Bible. What does it mean to be hot-tempered? What is strife? What is contention?
Temper
Let’s firstly consider “hot-tempered”. What does it mean for a man to be hot-tempered? The word temper comes from the word temperament. Temperament refers to a person’s nature especially in reference to their behaviour. Therefore, it is describing the character of that person – it is their nature.
If the person behaves with anger towards others on a regular basis then people say they have an angry disagreeable temperament. The person’s normal behaviour is to be angry to others. If the person behaviour is one of being calm even in difficult situations then others may say that person’s temperament is peaceful, thoughtful and easy to talk to.
Temperament therefore is about a person’s nature or their character. It refers to how behave.
Therefore, the word temper which we read in this verse means a person’s state of mind. It refers to what they are thinking. What are the thoughts going through their mind and how have these thoughts affected their behaviour? If you have a calm nature then your thoughts are of peacefulness. They involve not having strong emotions but rather of being calm.
However, if you have an angry nature then your temper will be hot – your emotions are boiling inside you, your anger rises up and your behaviour is one of being aggressive to others. Maybe yelling at them with words that show you strongly disagree with them.
Strife
We have seen that a “hot-tempered man” is a person whose character or nature is one of being angry. As the verse says, he stirs up strife. What does the word strife mean? It means someone is causing trouble or creating difficulties for others. It could be that they are disagreeing with others over fundamental issues. Therefore, it involves causing conflict with others. If we consider the person creating this strife we find that they are being angry or bitter about something.
Strife can be seen in the world around us. Countries are seeking more wealth and power so they cause strife. They fight and go to war with others to wound and destroy. Their temperament is not one of calm and peace but rather of anger and aggressiveness.
Causing strife applies to countries but it also applies to us – men and women. We are to not be hot-tempered or angry but rather we are to be calm and peaceful.
The book of Proverbs has plenty to say about strife:
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins. Proverbs 10:12
By pride comes nothing but strife, but with the well-advised is wisdom. Proverbs 13:10
The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts. Proverbs 17:14
He who loves transgression loves strife, Proverb 17:19
It is honorable for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel. Proverbs 20:3
Where there is no wood, the fire goes out; and where there is no talebearer, strife ceases. Proverbs 26:20
To be a Christian, we are not to be angry with others but rather be gentle and patient. That is what it says in the second part of that verse we are considering (Proverbs 15:18) “he who is slow to anger quiets contention”.
Contention
The word “Contention” means disagreement. It comes from people arguing over something. They have opposing arguments in relation to an issue. It can be very easy for people to get hot-tempered and become angry with each other when there is disagreement about something.
Slow to anger
The verse we are considering gives advice on how strife can be avoided – “he who is slow to anger quiets contention”. We are to control our anger and not let it well up quickly within us.
The greatest example of one being slow to anger is the Lord God.
The words of the prophet Joel in Joel 2:13
Return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness; and He relents from doing harm.
The words of the prophet Jonah in Jonah 4:2
So he prayed to the Lord, and said, “Ah, Lord, was not this what I said when I was still in my country? Therefore I fled previously to Tarshish; for I know that You are a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness, One who relents from doing harm.
These words in Exodus 34:6-7 are very well known amongst Christians and quoted often. It is at the time, during the nation of Israel’s 40 years wandering in the wilderness, when Moses climbs Mount Sinai to receive the Ten Commandments.
And the Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin,
God is longsuffering which means that because of His goodness and tenderness, He is not easily irritated, but is merciful and kind. He is slow to anger. God has this patience in recognition of the weakness of humanity. It provides the opportunity for repentance and reformation by the people.
All true children of God should strive to develop this characteristic of God and then extend it to others. As Christians we should always be slow to anger – never being “hot-tempered”. This is what James teaches in chapter 1 and verses 19 to 20.
So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20
In this verse James does not condemn anger altogether, but rather quick-temperedness. The reason is that when a man quickly becomes angry, he can become blind to reason and acts foolishly. He loses control of his behaviour.
Being slow to anger requires the characteristic of patience even when there might seem to be every justification for the anger. Thoughtfulness and faith in God will help to develop the virtue of patience in all circumstances. This is a virtue which is worth developing as it suggests in Proverbs 19:11:
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 16:32 gives encouraging words about being slow to anger:
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
As the first indicates, self-control is the key to controlling your anger. Men who have conquered whole kingdoms were then defeated when they tried to control themselves. Some people try to excuse their bad temper on the ground of natural weakness, but they should accept that it really is the result of unjudged pride and impatience.
There are many examples in the Bible of people who controlled their anger and others who did not. David remained calm even when he was cursed. Nehemiah showed that he could “rule his spirit” even when the enemy tried to overcome and destroy him. Unfortunately, Samson is an example of one who could not rule his spirit.
Paul writes these words about anger:
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27
From Paul’s words it is evident that anger can soon lead to sin if allowed to continue and to become uncontrolled.
Conclusion
Strife is the result of the people involved – it is not the result of the matter being discussed. People cause strife. So it is up to us to not stoke the embers of the fire, but rather bring the water to put out the fire with a soft answer. We can do this by using wisdom to pacify contention.
Let us always remember that the only reasons we are offered salvation is because:
The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 103:8
We are indeed very fortunate that God is slow to anger. So let us take note of the exhortation from the Lord Jesus Christ:
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Psalm 103:8
